The Games Women Play

I was reading a post by Sagnik and felt like adding on to some common phrases/sentences that have screwed me over. Given that I had not posted anything for a while, I decided to add to the list and extend it, based off of my real life.

1) “Nothing”
If this is the answer to a question, you are screwed my friend. The word nothing has more meanings that the english dictionary can ever give you. It could range from something to everything. Never take the word nothing at face value, specially when it comes from a girl. Remember that guy who was desperately trying to make those last minute reservations for V-Day, it was me.

2) “I am not hungry/ happy/ drunk”
which should always be followed by RIGHT NOW. Given that women find it more difficult to change moods, if they want to, they can. And if they do, please be aware that your plans for the evening will be slightly altered. Again this comes from being woken up in the middle of the night to make that patented Ramen noodles. (Ahh college life)

3) “And you turn left”
Don’t ask me why. But women are directionally challenged. I always make sure that it is not the OTHER LEFT (aka. Right) that they are talking about. Unless you like driving in circles and are not worried about the gas prices, make sure.

4)“Who is she ?”
Are you in trouble. Some girl checked you out and you were too busy and missed it. Make sure you have a preplanned answer, specially if you plan on not telling her the truth (which you should aviod, coz women have this weird sense of knowing that you lied).

5) “Do I look…”
The trickiest of questions. If the last word is negative, your answer has to be negative.
If the word is positive, your answer has to be positive.

Eg:
Q: Do I look fat?
A: NO / Are you kidding me ?

Q: Do I look cute ?
A: ABSOLUTELY / You Bet / Of Course

Q: Do I look like I know the answer?
A: Could you repeat the question. / RUN RUN RUN

You get the point. So good luck with that.

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